I am 39 and have two daughters, ages 21 and 8, and I plan to marry my eldest daughter's father in the coming months. My problem is that my daughter met her father for the first time in 2003, and while he and I have worked through a lot of very difficult and painful issues concerning his 20-year absence in our lives, he and our daughter are still struggling to talk to each other. How do I plan my life with him without being put in a place where she feels as if I'm choosing him over her? Please offer some useful tools to help me navigate my way through this sensitive situation with my daughter and her father.
What advice do you have OR what would you do in their shoes?
Standard comments are also welcome.
Standard comments are also welcome.
9 comments:
time,
patience,
and
pray.
what's done is done...
can't turn back the clock and make a wrong a right. just one day at a time with everyone in the family. continue to love the eldest daughter, she's the one that's lost the most and now that's she's an adult herself, she prolly feels she doesn't need her dad around because he was there for her in the past.
what kinda mack down did he put for you to let him come back after 20 years?
That's what I'm thinking, Sheletha...the whole thing seems highly suspect.
well, it can go both ways...of all the women on eurf, why go back to someone, 20 years in yo' past?
feel me?
I was wondering the same thing. How can ole boy get back in the door after 20 years. She must be mighty lonely, mighty ugly, or his is mighty good in bed.
The sad part is that his priority wasn't on developing a relationship with his daughter, but with getting back with old girl.
You find this similar phenomenon with guys who try to avoid child support because they can no longer be with the mom. The issue is never about the kids, but about what they can get from the woman.
I got problems picking men, but damn. Is it really that serious.
Hey man, just be the loving and affectionate man you already are, it sems you have your priorities right.
Twenty years! wow, her self esteem must be really low. she is willing to sell her daughters happiness for some 'D'? c'mom, if she want to hit- then hit it. you know he aint no good:he hasn't paid a nickle of child support nor has he been a part of the child's life. what can he say- i didn't know it was mine?
ole girl need to find a new man and leave the trash in the back yard.
This is so sad. I would recommend that you listen to your daughters concerns about this man (her father). And you should consider that if he will walk out your life once he can do it again. Why allow him to break your heart again. Because a leopard doesn't change his spots.
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