48 Laws of Power: Fourteen

Law 14 - Pose As A Friend, Work As A Spy

Knowing about your rival is critical. Use spies to gather valuable information that will keep you a step ahead. Better Still. Play the spy yourself. In polite social encounters, learn to probe. Ask indirect questions to get people to reveal their weaknesses and intentions. There is no occasion that is not an opportunity for artful spying.

If you have reason to suspect that a person is telling you a lie, look as though you believed every word he said. This will give him courage to go on; he will become more vehement in his assertions, and in the end betray himself.

Again, if you perceive that a person is trying to conceal something from you, but with only partial success, look as though you did not believe him. The opposition on your part will provoke him into leading out his reserve of truth and bringing the whole force of it to bear upon your incredulity.

Arthur Schopenhauer
1788-1860

If you have followed this series, you know that my goal is not to get you to inact deception and trickery to your advantage, but to guard against it when you notice it in others. With that in mind, I have a saying that I like to use that really gets to the point of this law – “watch the ice break”. To watch the ice break all you have to do is play it cool. Don’t be in a hurry. Just relax. Pour a little “water” on the subject and watch them – “the ice” – break before your eyes. It will all be revealed in time, and just like the ice in a cup gives to the water around it, so will those who mean you harm. Just chill, you’ll see, they'll walk right into your hands.

FUN IN THE FALL -- Join the writers of Bloggers' Delight Vol. 1 - Love & Redemption in New York City during the weekend of October 12th (Columbus Day Holiday).

Where: 583 Riverside Drive, 7th Floor, New York, NY 10031.
For More Information visit http://www.i-lit.com/

Power Play

Same Old Sad Song

Why won’t you call me?
Your absence stabs me with despair

I’ve gone over the events a thousand times
Yet
I’m still left wanting to press rewind

Wondering
what I said wrong
Wondering
can I make it right

I never meant to break your heart
My feet just wouldn’t lead me right

Introduce me to the pleasure that forgiveness is sure to bring
Enduring your arraignment was difficult
But living out this sentence is maddening.
I’m tired of the Blues
I really need a new song to sing

You vacated my world
I remember the day exact
It was Friday the Hurt-teenth
No
Not a cloudy day
Your leaving turned the sky black

Your only reference now is pain
I can’t take it when the kids ask me why?
I thought by now you would have forgiven my cross words
Recovered from my spilled milk
The slate
Dry

I swear I’d take it all back if I could
Just to return to the days when
I was your guy
And you my girl
Before Black Friday
We was on top of the world.


Power Law 13

When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest,

Never to their Mercy or Gratitude

If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him/her of your past assistance and good deeds. He/She will find a way to ignore you. Instead, uncover something in your request, or in your alliance with him/her, that will benefit him/her, and emphasize it out of all proportion. He/She will respond enthusiastically when he/she sees something to be gained for himself/herself.

FUN IN THE FALL -- Join the writers of Bloggers' Delight Vol. 1 - Love & Redemption in New York City during the weekend of October 12th (Columbus Day Holiday).

Where: 583 Riverside Drive, 7th Floor, New York, NY 10031.
For More Information visit www.i-Lit.com

48 Laws of Power: Double Up

Law 10: INFECTION: AVOID THE UNHAPPY AND UNLUCKY

You can die from someone else's misery -- emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draws misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.


In his own time Simon Thomas was a great doctor. I remember that I happened to meet him one day at the home of a rich old consumptive: He told his patient when discussing ways to cure him that one means was to provide occasion for me to enjoy his company: He could then fix his eyes on the freshness of my countenance and his thoughts on the over-flowing cheerfulness and vigor of my young manhood; by filling all his senses with the flower of my youth his condition might improve. He forgot to add that mine might get worse. -- Montaigne, 1533-1592

Law 11: LEARN TO KEEP PEOPLE DEPENDANT ON YOU

To maintain your independence you must always be needed and wanted. The more you are relied on, the more freedom you have. Make people depend on you for their happiness and prosperity and you have nothing to fear. Never teach them enough so that they can do without you.

The Two Horses

Two horses were carrying two loads. The front horse went well, but the rear horse was lazy. The men began to pile the rear horse's load on the front horse; when they had transfered it all, the rear horse found it easy going, and he said to the front horse: "Toil and sweat! The more you try, the more you have to suffer." When they reached the tavern, the owner said; "Why should I fodder two horses when I carry all on one? I had better give one all the food it wants, and cut the throat of the other, at least I shall have the hide." And so he did. -- Fables, Leo Tolstov 1828-1910



FUN IN THE FALL -- Join the writers of Bloggers' Delight Vol. 1 - Love & Redemption in New York City during the weekend of October 12th (Columbus Day Holiday).

Where: 583 Riverside Drive, 7th Floor, New York, NY 10031.
For More Information visit www.i-Lit.com

48 Laws of Power : Nine

Law 9
Win through your Actions, Never through Argument
Any momentary triumph you think gained through argument is really a Pyrrhic victory: The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion. It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word. Demonstrate, do not explicate.

Side note:

This is the perfect opportunity for me to promote why I enjoy this book so much. The book is filled with stories of conquest and defeat that are centuries old. You are able to learn so much simply from seeing the stories play out in support of the law and at the same time gain insight into historical treasure coves. Which brings us to Pyrrhus.

Pyrrhus (318-272 BC) was one of the most successful ancient Greek generals of the Hellenistic era. He was king of the Greek tribe of Molossians(from ca. 297 BC), Epirus (306-301, 297-272 BC) and Macedon (288-284, 273-272 BC), and one of the strongest opponents of early Rome. Some of his battles, though successful, cost him staggering losses, from which the term Pyrrhic victory was coined. Go to Wikipedia to learn more about Pyrrhus.

Practical Application of Law 9:

This law brings home the phrase, “I can show you better than I can tell you!” Often in relationships we face opposition with our loved ones and many times we try to argue our positions hoping that the other person will see our side. Sometimes during those discussions things can get nasty. This law warns us that instead of ripping away at the threads of the relationship simply let your actions and the prevailing actions of others tell the real story.

FUN IN THE FALL -- Join the writers of Bloggers' Delight Vol. 1 - Love & Redemption in New York City during the weekend of October 12th (Columbus Day Holiday).

Where: 583 Riverside Drive, 7th Floor, New York, NY 10031.
For More Information visit http://www.i-lit.com/

48 Laws of Power: Eight

Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary

When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control. It is always better to make your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process. Lure him with fabulous gains – then attack. You hold the cards.

I'm not sure where I heard the following, but it would be wise to remember. Beware of the person who promises something not within their power to give. It's amazing to me the cards people wave in your face to get you to act according to their motives, especially cards they have no control over. I learned this first hand during a stint of self employment. At times I would run into someone who proposed that they were so well connected that if I would extend them a deal, they could in turn hook me up with a plethora of business. To this day, I haven't seen it happen for me. What I have seen is the giving into of another's motives for a measure of gain that isn't concrete. Eventually I learned that these folks were just running game or trying to place themselves in a place of power over me. In each instance, I had the power to shut them down by not participating. You can do the same.

Can you recall a time someone promised you something just to get you to respond to them in a certain manner and then you found that what they were really doing is trying to manipulate you into giving them what they wanted? If so, tell us about it.



About the host:
Rich Fitzgerald is the author of the short story "One to Remember" featured in Love and Redemption (Bloggers' Delight Vol. 1), a collection of short stories by authors who blog. To read excerpts or to order a copy of the title, visit i-Lit. The book is also available on Amazon.

48 Laws of Power: Seven

Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit

Use wisdom, knowledge, and legwork of other people to further your own cause. Not only will such assistance save you valuable time and energy, it will give you a godlike aura of efficiency and speed. In the end your helpers will be forgotten and you will be remembered. Never do yourself what others can do for you.

At first glance this smacks of absolute trickery and manipulation, but if you look closer you will see that this law is the markings of a great many successful leaders.

When you think of Microsoft only one name comes to mind, Bill Gates. However, there is no way possible for Bill Gates to do all that is required for Microsoft to maintain it’s dominance without the assistance of others. Yet he gets the glory. Only the flip side, he gets the troubles, but that’s another post in and of itself.

In order for you to ascend to the heights of power whether it be in your own business, corporate America, or the public sector, you will have to acquire the skill of getting others to buy into using their skills to benefit you and your vision. Those who fail to employ this skill will forever be amongst those known as “the worker bee.”

It is fine to start out as a one man show, but at some point in order to get to the top, you have to bring in others. Sure, you may have to compensate them, but that is the cost associated with ascension. Having been in business myself, I will let you know that this isn’t always easy. Even in the workplace you find it difficult. I’m sure you know someone who does just enough to get by as opposed to working to get the team on top. The goal is not to just get people to work for you, but to get people to take ownership to the point that they live to push you and the team to victory. Not everyone has this ability, but those that do will find that they couldn’t possibly be where they are without the help of those around them. Develop this art, it will serve you well.



About the host:
Rich Fitzgerald is the author of the short story "One to Remember" featured in Love and Redemption (Bloggers' Delight Vol. 1), a collection of short stories by authors who blog. To read excerpts or to order a copy of the title, visit i-Lit. The book is also available on Amazon.

48 Laws of Power

Law 6
Court Attention at all Cost

Everything is judged by its appearance; what is unseen counts for nothing. Never let yourself get lost in the crowd, then, or buried in oblivion. Stand out. Be conspicuous, at all cost. Make yourself a magnet of attention by appearing larger, more colorful, more mysterious, than the bland and timid masses.

I’m not sure if I agree with this law and I don’t have my text available for review of the subject matter, but what I will say is that this should be done with balance in mind. While you do want to stand out, you don’t want to come across ostentatious. I think there are subtle ways that we can interject our style, personality, work ethic, beauty, talent or other interpersonal skills without coming across as too arrogant. A failure to maintain balance will have you transgressing the law and thereby repulsing the very thing you are attempting to attract. In that vein, I suppose one can obtain some level of aesthetic power. I think this law would tend to work better in corporate and entertainment settings, but I would have to add a warning. Never court attention for a place of standing that you are not fully prepared to reign, because without substance power just might turn it's back on you. And suffice it to say at that point, all eyes will be on you.




About the host:
Rich Fitzgerald is the author of the short story "One to Remember" featured in Love and Redemption (Bloggers' Delight Vol. 1), a collection of short stories by authors who blog. To read excerpts or to order a copy of the title, visit i-Lit. The book is also available on Amazon.

48 Laws of Power: Five

Law 5

So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life
Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

When I read this law, I was actually reminded of bloggers. I have had the great fortune to have been in this blogging game for a while now. My blog didn’t start until October 2006, but I had been immersed in the culture since about June 2006, so I’ve been here a full 24 months now. In that time, I’ve seen bloggers come and I’ve seen bloggers go. Some of them had excellent blogs and some were just so so. The reasons they leave run the gamut. Some leave because their jobs changed, others got bored with the process, some get burned out by the process and just need a break, but the worse exits happen when the game turns on the blogger. When for some reason or another the blogger is found to be different than what they projected.

If there was ever an environment where reputation mattered, it’s in blogging. Why? Because bloggers are a voice to many. Being as such, reputation is all we have. Most of the people who read these pages don’t know us up close and personal other than what we are willing to share. So the person that is presented here is the person that sticks until an event occurs that causes the covers to get pulled back.

Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen.

I do my best to be transparent. Despite the growing popularity of online dating and the availability of single women, I make no bones about being married and I let women know I’m NOT out here looking to hook up. I have everything I need at the crib where that is concerned. I also try not to give the image that I’m something that I’m not. What you see is basically what you get. I try to stay away from innuendo. I feel like if you let it run about, it can end up running you over. In short, I purpose to be above board. I know people will think what they want, but I do my best to protect my reputation at all costs by living as close to righteousness as I can.

Learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

Again, nothing hurts worse than being found out. To have someone unearth something about you that you didn’t want leaked is the ultimate in the loss of power. The only way to overcome that type of attack is to be flat out honest. But honesty has its drawbacks, because some people will still want to look down on you. That aside, I think living honestly is the truest test of power. Anyone can deceive their way into power or assassinate the character of someone else to get a leg up, but when people back you despite your past indiscretions you are then on the path to real power.

Enemies can’t be controlled, but you can limit their ability to sting you by maintaining a good report. No one is perfect and yes, sometimes the devil does get in the details. But you can control who you want to be in this life. Just remember that no matter how you decide to live, you will reap the rewards that accompany that decision. Live like a king and you receive a king’s reward (honor, respect and admiration). Live like a scoundrel and you will ultimately reap a scoundrel's reward. (dishonor, repulsion and condemnation).


About the host:
Rich Fitzgerald is the author of the short story "One to Remember" featured in Love and Redemption (Bloggers' Delight Vol. 1), a collection of short stories by authors who blog. To read excerpts or to order a copy of the title, visit i-Lit. The book is also available on Amazon.

48 Laws of Power

My purpose IS NOT to promote the use of the laws of power to gain an edge against others. What I intend to do is hip you to the game so that you don’t get played. Simply knowing that game exists is not enough. You have to familiarize yourself so that when the time comes, game can recognize game.


Power Law #3
Keep people off balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue what you are up to, they can not prepare a defense. Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelop them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be too late.

This is a common game played by many. You see it in relationships, you see it on the job, you see it in church, you see it online, you see it everywhere, that is, if you are looking. This misuse of power is most effective when a "screen" is utilized. But even then, chances are, something in your gut will let you know that all is not what it seems.

My experience has shown me that this law plays out a great deal of the time in romantic relationships. This can probably be attributed to the fact that most people don't have the access to play the power game for high stakes, so those who do play games settle for conquering in an environment that is resident. The weapon of choice in most of these situations is the smoke screen. I must admit. Growing up male has allowed me to see many a woman fall for “screens” and I've seen them executed in a manner reminiscent of my time on the hardwood. Just like in the sport of basketball, a screen can be set without you seeing it coming or it can be done in plain view with you unable to get around it if you aren’t thinking properly. Either way, to the uninformed, they are quite effective.

Blindsided screen:

This is executed when a guy who is checking you out decides he wants to get with you, but after feeling you out he determines it would be too hard to come straight at you. He decides to employ what I refer to as the “backdoor” technique. This is the "screen" that catches you off guard because it's built around the premise of “I just want to be your friend” or he keeps it casual like you are just part of the crew. All the while, he’s looking for his angle, his opportunity to get at you. While this may be fine in the case where the dude is legitimately interested in you and just doesn't know how to overcome your apprehension, it’s not cool when dude is looking to do dirt. By “do dirt” I mean, hit and quit it, play you for your paper, or use you to get somewhere he can’t get on his own. This guy uses the screen to blind side you so he can get his shot off. You can fight through this screen but you have to feel your way around the blockage. Follow your gut.


Open view screen:
Sometimes the hardest screen to get around is the most obvious one. I’ve been on the basketball court and I can clearly see the screen coming, but because of momentum I couldn’t get out of the way. When defeated in this manner you have to learn from it and hope to react differently just a step or two quicker the next time, but what if this occurs in a relationship. What if you are dealing with someone who’s perfected his moves and is able to draw you into the screen under the momentum created by the romance? What do you do then? This player is usually masterful at drawing up his plays. He’s done his homework, watched your game films and so he’s ready to approach you head on. The screen he uses is the “no game” game. He presents himself as the all true man. But there’s one catch. He wants you to sign him to the team with the hurry up. This cat is clearly hiding something. I’ve never heard the phrase “good things come to those who rush.” He wants you, but only to suit the end he has in mind. To beat this guy, you have to slow down the tempo and play at your pace. Make him ride the bench and earn his spot on the team. Chances are he doesn’t feel like he has time for that. If you react to the fear of losing this “great catch” you’ll pay the price when you finally realize he’s just taking up salary cap space and weighing the team down.

How about you, have you seen this law in action?


About the host:
Rich Fitzgerald is the author of the short story "One to Remember" featured in Love and Redemption (Bloggers' Delight Vol. 1), a collection of short stories by authors who blog. To read excerpts or to order a copy of the title, visit i-Lit. The book is also available on Amazon.

Power Law #2

NEVER PUT TOO MUCH
TRUST IN FRIENDS, LEARN
HOW TO USE ENEMIES

Be wary of friends – they will betray you more quickly for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

Being the entrepreneurial minded person that I consider myself to be, I constantly look for niches or ideas that I can bring to light. As good fortune would have it I came upon such an idea one September night in 1997. At the time I was in the video booth with my man C. Mac (sidebar: check out his blog or previous work in the links section) at our former church, Abundant Life Fellowship. This particular fall evening we were working in the capacity as youth leaders for a back to school concert featuring Gospel Rap Artist’s, A1-Swift.

A1-Swift was a husband wife duo that really could put it down. They had a mainstream sound, but all their lyrics were about living big for Christ. The house was packed. They had the crowd rocking. I remember during one of their sets seeing all these kids rocking their hip hop gear and it occurred to me that although these kids professed a passionate love for Christ, they looked like every other kid immersed in hip hop culture with their Nautica, Tommy, and Fubu on from head to toe. I wanted to change that. I wanted to create a fly Christian clothing line that could rival all of the aforementioned lines.

With money tight I set out to create the line with limited resources. I’m pretty creative, having discovered my ability to draw at age eight, so I began creating logos for caps and baseball jerseys. Caps have always been popular and everybody was wearing sportswear with the ascent of FuBu. So, I was on my way.

Once I had some samples, I began sharing them with some close friends and a few people who were mostly associates (some I didn't really trust, but they were friends of a friend). The response I received was mixed. The friends loved them, while the associates were like, “Meh, they’re okay.”

Long story short after a lot of time and money, the line never really took off. A few years ago I saw an opportunity to pull it off the back burner and it was at that moment that I had the wool pulled from over my eyes. Someone very close to me who previously applauded my efforts, confessed that they didn’t really like the previous designs, that if I was going to go after it again that I should look to do something more cutting edge. I said, “Now you tell me! I could have saved a lot of time and effort had you just been honest." They didn't want to hurt my feelings was their response. Give me a break, was mine. I also realized that I should have listened to the guys who I thought were just practicing hate. Winning over my "enemies" would have proven profitable. But you live and you learn.

This is a mild example of the principle, but I’m sure you can come up with some spicier scenarios where someone close to you caught you from the blind side. If so, and you care to share, by all means do so.


About the host:
Rich Fitzgerald is the author of the short story "One to Remember" featured in Love and Redemption (Bloggers' Delight Vol. 1), a collection of short stories by authors who blog. To read excerpts or to order a copy of the title, visit i-Lit. The book is also available on Amazon.

Money, Sex and ...

POWER

In this world system it really isn’t about the former two items above. What it all boils down to in the end is power. Power will attract both money and sex. This is not to say that the object of power is either of those things. However, as power increases, it’s like a magnetic pull, it can’t be helped; those two entities will surely rear their heads.

Some people would say that money is power. Others would say that sex is. I both agree and disagree, because I tend to look at power as an element all its own. Power has structure. Power has rules, and if you follow the rules, you’ll maintain whatever level of power you have. If you break the rules, you will not only lose your power, but you’ll also pay a price. Some may ask, “What if I don’t want to play the game of power?” and to those I’d say, “You are already playing, you are probably just on the wrong end of the game. Denying that the game exists likely means that you my friend are being “defeated” on some level, and you obviously don’t have much power at all.” We all play the game, whether we like it or not. The best thing to do is to learn the rules of the game so you can minimize the negative impact that comes from transgressing the law.

I’ve always been a “hood” type brother, just more of a “Robin Hood”, so get comfortable, pull up a chair and come back weekly as we break down the irrefutable Laws of Power. Our guiding text will be The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene.

Any man who tries to be good all the time is bound to come to ruin among the great number who are not good. Hence a prince who wants to keep his authority must learn how not to be good, and use that knowledge, or refrain from using it, as necessity requires.

THE PRINCE, Niccolo’ Machiavelli, 1469- 1527

As I read the manual I’m often reminded of times that I have either seen the power of a law in motion through actions of my own or via someone I came into contact with. I have also witnessed first hand the negative impact of violating these laws. I would like to think that I’m pretty “up” on how to maneuver in a variety of circles, yet when I came upon rule #1, I realized that I had broken it on more than one occasion.


Rule #1

Never Outshine The Master

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please and impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite - inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

I was always told to do my best. Be two to three times better than the man/woman next to you if possible, especially if I’m the sole minority in a setting. So, I have always set out to “kick butt and take names” but one particular time early in my adulthood this strategy backfired. At the time, I had taken a part time job during the holidays in the retail sector. Part of my pay was built on commission so needless to say, I was “shaking hands and kissing babies” to make sure that my checks would be fat. I had bills to pay. The manager of the store was quite pleased with my performance, but there was a problem on one of the days that I arrived. The manager pulled me into the back to commend me on my sales numbers, but asked if I wouldn’t mind swinging her some sales, her numbers were a bit on the low side that week and she needed a little help. My response came in a facial expression that read like the 80’s music commercial where the guy says “No my brother, you have to get your own.” I begrudgingly threw her a couple of sales, keeping the better ones for myself, but she already knew my heart.

The end of the season arrives and I was the #2 sales guy overall, second to an Italian cat who had a regular customer base that he had built for about a year or more. I was looking to stay on the rest of the year based on what the manager told me upon hiring, “if you do a good job, we’ll look at hiring you on permanently after the holidays,” but I was let go. Supposedly the sales forecast didn’t warrant keeping any of the temporary help. That was fine, although I didn’t totally believe it. I figured she was still salty about my not dumping my money into her lap. It was cool, I had made some friends in some neighboring stores, so I put in for positions in stores that were actively hiring and still I came up with nothing.

I knew one of the brothers who worked as an assistant manager in the shoe store next door and I asked him what was up. Why couldn’t I get on? I never was late at the other store, I had great sales, and I worked extra shifts. The reason, he said and I can still hear the words now almost 20 years later. “Kathy,” not her real name, “said you weren’t a team player.”

It took me a while to find a job. Not to mention, this was the only mall in the college town of Gainesville, FL so most of the managers were friendly with each other. I got iced out because I broke the first law of power, Never Outshine the Master. In this instance, the manager reminded me who really had the power.

What are your thoughts regarding the 1st Law?