One Event

Sometimes life is the sum total of "One Event". We never fully realize how "One Event" can change the course of our lives forever. Some events propel us forward, some send us spiraling downward, and then some leaves us stuck in that moment where the "One Event" occurred.

I had an occasion to remove yet another layer this past weekend as I realized during a moment of introspection why I approach some things the way I do. I will now share with you now some of my historic "One Event" moments and how they affected me, maybe you will see yourself.

I loved her (girl 1) but she turned her back on my love and gave herself to another man -- So I told myself, I'll get "them" before they get me. Now I find it hard to trust love, even when it's obviously real.

I cried my eyes out and poured out my soul and she (girl 2) she still left -- So I told myself, I'll never cry or beg another woman to stay with me, no matter who she is to me. Now I'm the "poker face" lover. She thinks I can take her or leave her, but I'd be nothing without her.

I trusted and believed that Pastor X had learned his lesson, but after all that has happened he's still the same. -- So I told myself, If I can't trust the man who impacted my spiritual life the most, then what Pastor can I trust. They all twist the word to their benefit, even in the face of wrong. Now, I think I can get along without church even in the face of a constant battle against the enemy.

She asked me to be honest and I was, but now she uses it against me at every turn. So I told myself, you should have known better, next time follow your gut and keep your mouth closed. Now I feel forced to abandon the honesty that is pertinent to building strong relationship.

While it may be true that we can learn from our pasts, we have to be careful not to let those events that we encounter negatively shape our future. We often think we are protecting ourselves from pain, but when we look closely we might see that trying to avoid the pain in the past is what is causing us to now hurt like hell.

Do you have a "One Event" that you need to learn from. One that may be holding you back or maybe you have a good story to share -- an event that took you to the next level. Either way, will you share?

Tagged Already

I've been tagged!!!

The rules of the game are:

A). Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog...
EB the Celeb (fly name, by the way)
B). Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself...
C). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs...
D). Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.


Two Names you go by:

1. Rich in the STL (now I'm just MEGA Rich)

2. Man With Balls (dude got too popular and I had to kill him - Hey Don, now you know my Phantom Blog -- it's a shame I can't retrieve that deleted blog, there was a ton of good stuff over there.)

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:

1. Nike Air Jordan sweat pants

2. Left Hand Ring (See ETC post on Right Hand Ring)


Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship:

1. A maid to clean up behind my kids

2. Anytime, Anyplace (kids can be some straight up "blockers")


Two of your favorite things to do:

1. Watch Movies

2. Make dollars entrepreneurially


Two things you want very badly at the moment:

1. A month off with pay

2. More book sales


Two pets you had/have:

1. Cocker Spaniel

2. Ferret (actually my college roommates, but I cleaned up behind it)


Two people you think will fill this out:

1. No one - I'm not going to tag anyone


Two things you did last night:

1. Stay up most of the night talking to wifey

2. Went to Blockbuster


Two things you ate today:

1. Tangerine

2. Sausage and Pepperoni pizza


Two people you last talked to:

1. Uncle Cecil

2. My Dad


Two things you're doing tomorrow:

1. Write some more while I'm at work.

2. Work out


Two longest car rides:

1. From St. Louis, MO to Ocala, FL (14/15 hours)

2. From St. Louis, MO to Jacksonville, FL (13 hours)


Two favorite holidays:

1. My birthday

2. Anyone that calls for hanging out with family and friends, preferably with barbecue involved.


Favorite beverages:

1. Vanilla Coke (can't drink it anymore thanks to the 365 Day Challenge)

2. Grape kool-aid (haven't had kool-aid in a long time - it's been years)

Person no longer alive who you'd like to talk to:

1. My Grandma

2. My Granddaddy

Off To a Good Start

In November I started my 365 Day Challenge, partly because I was thinking forward and I didn't want to get caught up with all the usual "do nothing" New Years Resolutions.

Since that time I have been focusing on my list and I have needed to make some adjustments. If you all decide to do a list of some sort, my best advice is make it as realistic as possible and write the steps on how you will reach those goals, otherwise, they will be just words on a paper. Good luck.

1. Stop drinking soda - period - my bladder is out of control and I know drinking all that soda can't be helping -- but I like the taste and the caffeine. I'm having some success, but I'm not totally off soda yet.

2. Commit to a five day workout plan by my birthday in December - no matter what comes up in my schedule, commit to five days. The daily minimum is 1 mile (walked or ran), 36 situps (3 sets of 12), and 36 push-ups (3 sets of 12) -- this way, equipment doesn't come in to play. I can do this workout anywhere. I have had to modify this because I have resisted going to the gym. So, I have a rule that if I leave my desk, which I do often, then I have to do the 20 push-ups and 20 sit-ups in one of the conference rooms before returning to my desk. I'm averaging 60 of each a day. I'm also going to look into getting a personal trainer for about a month. Just to get me started.

3. Finish the complete first draft to "Chance Encounters" by December 16th. This date was unrealistic to begin with, especially with the holidays. I'm changing it to January 31st. I have been working on the story though, thanks to this list.

4. Finish the complete first draft to "Closure" by January 31st. Change to Begin working on first draft of "Closure" by March 1st.


6. Take my wife Christmas shopping in Chicago this year. Didn't make it. Too much going on. Change it to a surprise get away.

8. Call Grandma Ruby (my late Grandfather's second wife) over Thanksgiving and for her birthday on December 17th. COMPLETED!

9. Help my wife complete the rehab of our house by Spring, so we can either rent or sell this property and move on to the house we have been waiting to purchase. Working on this now.

13. Complete "Seminar" by January 1st. Actually started working on a book that will be used as the basis for the "Seminar". My goal is to work on this as much as possible, because it is more of a knowledge based project than creative.

14. Put invitations in the mail for PowerCell by January 1st. Delayed

15. Take my wife out at least once a month without the kids. Ongoing

16. Do something with the kids away from home at least once a month. Ongoing

19. Read at least one book a month (I know I could read more, but I'm serious about this list).
Must read John Edgar Wideman, James Patterson, re-read Black Boy (Richard Wright), James Baldwin, Langston Hughes (complete The Best of Simple). Reading several right now, need to finish one of them.

22. Support GOOD musicians by purchasing their albums. Bootleg is for busters! You'd want people to buy your work, wouldn't you? I bought a few CD's since this post (Jay Z, Jill Scott, and Peabo Bryson -- all very good). I also got an IPOD classic for Christmas, and I plan to load that thing down. So, I can mark this as complete, because it is a foregone conclusion.

365 Day Challenge