Back On Track Tuesday

Be Fearless In Your Approach

What is the one thing that you approach fearlessly or with great confidence?

When you find yourself in moments of uncertainty, transpose the event/thing you are facing into the object you normally approach fearlessly. For example, when I was single I was highly confident that all things being equal I could have any woman I wanted. It didn’t matter who she was. I always felt that given the opportunity, I could pull it off. Mind you, it took me some time to get there, but I taught myself to never be afraid to approach a woman regardless of how attractive I thought she was. There was always a way to win her over.

Now that I’m happily married and have no need to utilize that skill for relationships, I’m learning to transpose that mindset over to other areas. If I have a goal that seems daunting, I relate it to a woman and ask myself, how can I best approach the situation and come out on top? When I look at things in that light, the fear is removed. Rejection becomes a non-issue. Not being worthy is un-thought of, and hearing no is not an option. I’m the man for this. Make no bones about it.

If my object is the high maintenance woman. I evaluate my options to overcome the lifestyle/money issue.

If my project needs me to commit over time before it will “put out”, I find other qualities that I can appreciate in the meantime.

If my project is the more mature woman who really needs someone with more character, panache and experience, I do my homework and make sure I come to the table correct.

If my goal seems to be playing hard to get, I look at the long term rewards and decide then and there that it is worth the work.

No matter what my goal presents, I decide to face it from a position of power as opposed to one of defeat. It is the same thing you must do. You have to find your place of power. If you are fearless in sports, translate your goal metaphorically into a sport and break it down so that you are in a position to win. If you are an artist or an entertainer look at this thing as "the next level" in your craft and attack. By taking this position, the fear of losing is removed and you allow your creativity to flow. You are able to effectively evaluate the hurdles and come up with a game plan that will allow you to achieve your goals in full.

You must know that the problem you are facing is a fa├žade. You have the answers in or around you. Look at it again. Don’t just give up on it. Who says you can’t have what you want? Find your place of power and be fearless in your approach. The victory is yours for the taking. The question is - Do you want it bad enough?

About the host:
Rich Fitzgerald is the author of the short story "One to Remember" featured in Love and Redemption (Bloggers' Delight Vol. 1), a collection of short stories by authors who blog. To read excerpts or to order a copy of the title, visit i-Lit. The book is also available on Amazon.


i.can't.complain. said...

parenting is the thing i face fearlessly.

it's hard (as u know) but i realize my outlook on life, response to issues, and interations with people are a guide to the woman my daughter will become.

and i don't always get it right on the 1st try...

but i don't quit

i was created to be her mommy, rich

yeah, man


Darius T. Williams said...

Hey Rich - this reminds me of a concept I've dubbed as "The French Cuff Mentality." When I first started working in corporate america years ago, I had to wear business casual clothes. I didn't really have any. I started buying slacks and then realized that they didn't come tailored. I didn't have much money and had just really been able to afford the pants. How was I going to french cuff them? I had to learn on my own and figure it out. I had to employ resources, find ways, and become successful in a task that was a priority for me. In the end, it paid off. I can handle a pair of pants by hand in about an hour now.

let me tell you though - at first, my first tries were horrible. but, it's a stark reminder to look back and realize the growth that i have made. Just like anything else, with practice, the easier it becomes.

Anonymous said...

You amaze me, although I've come to expect outstanding advice in a great read when I come here, I'm still amazed today.

Great post and excellent information to share. I'm going to send it to a friend who's a new Big Brother to an older teen.

Lovebabz said...

This is how I am living! But then you already know that!

You are so right it takes a bit of re-thinking to get to this point, but it is do-able...necessary for any kind of success...whatever you deem success to be.

You are sharing some good stuff Brother!

Just_Wondering said...

I'm a speech therapist and work with pre-schoolers and instead of becoming intimidated by the kids that seem to have no speech at all I automatically get into a fearless mode. I dont entertain any ideas that I don't have the skills to get him/her to talk. It's hard work but when I've figured out what technique will work best I don't give up until that child is communicating.

I'm fearless about my career and using my God given talents to do what I do!

Great Post!

Anonymous said...

Great post. You really do drop some excellent knowledge and advice. I need to apply that to my own life.

Dreamy said...

okay i can diggit, see i learn something new more and more i visit your page

keep feeding me the knowledge cause i need it

The Pew View said...

Baby I been wanting the head Mother's board sit for 3 years but old stank breath Edna won't give it up and I'm scared to have a conversation with her about. Hell, I'm afraid she gone burn my nose hairs like she did last time she got upset and was yelling with that dragon breath of hers. This year Imma get that sit. I'm getting a mask and telling her it's time to move out the way. Victory is mine! Thank you baby. Take care now

Ruthie Ann

Tony OH said...

That's powerful advice for a player and best believe I'm gonna utilize every ounce of it. Your wisdom is always right on time, and i thank God for Brothas like you... Stay up Bruh!

Mizrepresent said...

Fear used to be my biggest defeat...fear of success, but now i fear nothing...and i utilize everything i have to make it what i want. I am to be...because i want to, because i can...because God has blessed me so and renewed my faith in knowing that everything i want and need will be delivered!

12kyle said...

i agree with -1-...parenting is the thing that i approach with supreme confidence. i have a pretty good grasp on what it'll take to raise these lil boys and help them become men. i really try to follow the blueprint that was set forth by my pops.

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

Here I thought this post was about learning to get my mack on and it is about fear. Dang!

Only joking.

Fear is our enemy. I can't lie I have allowed fear to hold me back from many things and making many moves. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of lonliness, fear of the unknown.
However, I have learned that lying in fear's arms is much worse than all of these.

Sharon because it had to be said! said...

There you go again...saying what we all need to hear!

I am so happy to be able to say I was born knowing this one. I approach my life in general and especially my love life with NO FEAR! When I say my love life, I mean every single person, thing, thought, or anything else for which I feel love in this life. Because of this, I can say with complete honesty and assurance that I am sure that those for whom I have love...KNOW IT; and of this I am proud!

As always my brother, from your brain comes power!