Wednesday

Is this love that I'm feeling


Being in love can be one of the most invigorating feelings that you can experience, but what happens to that love over time? It seems that people are falling out of love, falling into anothers arms, or just plain old falling apart from all the work that's required to sustain the relationship. You see it all the time, the couple you think of as the match made in heaven is somehow headed for Splitsville. It's an unfortunate turn of events but for some reason it's just not working out between them. So how do you make sure this doesn't happen to your relationship?

I'm not sure I have the answer, but I do have some questions you may want to ponder. Some can help you avoid a bad situation or they may explain why you have one. Either way, here are some questions that deserve to be answered.

1) Have we discussed having children. If so, who is expected to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we know each other's finacial background: spending habits, financial obligations, future financial goals?

3) What feeling are there surrounding domestic responsibilities? Are you a neat freak and your mate a slob? Who will be responsible for what chores?

4) Have you fully disclosed your health histories, will your past come back to haunt you when you decide to have children? Do you have any physical and/or mental impairments?

5) How much affection do you like to give/recieve?

6) Can the both of you discuss sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television, computer, work, music, etc. in the bedroom?

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints or do we just tolerate the one another?

9) Are we in agreement regarding our need for spirituality? Do we have similar spiritual beliefs? What are our views on exposing our children to religious/moral teaching?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

As you can see, all of these are pertinent questions and deserve to be brought to the table before you make a decision that will change your life as you know it. For some reason, love and relationships have been heavy on my mind. I guess it's because, in the last year I have watched relationships fall under trying times and some have deteriorated due to varying issues. However, I think many of the problems could have been avoided had the parties taken the time to ask the tough questions and held their ground when those answers were not to their liking.



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10 comments:

Lance said...

"Is this love that I'm feeling?" - Rich

depending on where you're feeling it at...if it's at the bottom of your stomach, it's love for a good, strong 15 mins!!!!

damn, rich.....with all those questions, i'm glad i'm SINGLE!!!!...LMAO!!!!

been there, done that ladies...see, i'm old school....i'll break it down to THREE questions (to you ladies, of course)

1) can you cook?
2) can you fuck?
3) can you leave me alone?

hahahaha!!!!...all for shits & giggles..don't get it twisted....relax!!!! ;-P

Girly_Girl said...

Lance, as always--ON POINT!!!

If he's not horny, I make him a sandwich...that's why we've been married 12 years.

Sheletha said...

Rich- Im writing these questions down for a future conversation.

Sheletha said...

Remember that word: Biter???

Ill be dat!

Lance said...

i'on kno' what kinda answers your gon' get back sheletha babycakes

but, be careful for what you ask...

Rich in the Stl said...

I can come up with a lot of comments for that one Sheletha, but I'll let you slide since you my peeps.

Lance, you are the man!

Dawnya said...

I totally agree with Lance. But my questions would be...Can you fuck?...can you lick/suck? are you parents alive? If you parents are living I ain't interested...I wish I would have asked Charles that before I fell in love. LOL

Lance said...

1) can you cook?
2) can you fuck?
3) can you leave me alone?

....of course, ya kno' this applies to the ladies also towards the fellas.

hey california dove...i see you grinnin' and hidin!!!!!

(;-P <=== the lanceman

California Dove said...

What's up Lance. I have been MIA for a while, but today I am so trippin' on this post.
Rich, are you taking some sort of marriage counseling class? These are some marriage testing questions.
I didnt consider most of these when I married. My questions were more of
1) where is your check?
2) what is my Woman's Day allowance? (this is the line item for hair,nails,massages...basically-girl time)
3) do you want cheese in your eggs?

I sure most men would agree with Lance's three questions.

Lance said...

damn, wif all the women i'm meeting now, independent and makin' loot!!! cali d, those women questions are geared towards me:

1) where is your check?
2) ain't you gotta job? (this is the line item for beer, lap dances and playin' lotto)
3) when you gon' cook something other than buffalo wings?