Try it, you might like it.

Last year was quite an interesting year for me. Not in terms of achievement, but as far as reflection and taking an honest look at myself. During the better part of last year, I realized I was unhappy about a lot of things in my life. Tired of aspects of relationships with those that I have allowed in my inner circle, tired of accepting a career that I didn't really care for just to make ends meet, tired of church and the politics in it, tired of putting up with less than I deserve. So, I decided well before the New Year to do something about it. I mean what is this life if we can't enjoy it? I'm tired of compromising because that's what everyone says you have to do to get along. I don't plan on being selfish, but it's just time out for accepting shit and calling it soup. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm on a quest to be free. Free to be me, without compromise. The first step in that was to stop blaming others for where I was or wasn't. It's no one's fault but your own if you aren't where you want to be. That's clear! If you think someone else is still to blame, then you are just too lazy to try harder, or you've bought into someone else's bullshit, which still makes it your fault. Choice is something we all have. You may not like them, but you still have them. So, do yourself a favor, take a good look in the mirror and figure out what you need to do to free yourself. You'll feel a lot better when you do.

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California Dove said...

Free. Letting Go. Having Peace within. This is something we all understand as we mature in life. I can feel you, except for the church part. I know you are a believer-you only need to find a church that is teaching and growing spiritually. As for the inner circle of friends: you must select wisely. I have three friends.
Honesty is something that I dealt with late 2006. I finally confided in my husband a secret I've held onto since my freshman year in college. After I told him, I felt like a weight had been lifted.

Free Yourself! It feels Great!!

Dawnya said...

A very introspective post. I can feel everything that you have to say. I agree 110%!! Find your freedom. Maybe I will see you along the journey.

Lance said...

time to be selfish and quit bullshittin'...and if i don't see you in miami in june, i'm gonna be mad as fuck!

** putting rich's foots in the fire***


Rich in the Stl said...

I'll be there dawg, you can put money on that. Did we decide which weekend? I checked out the Black Film Festival site and was thinking that might be a good time to go. Downside, Saadia can't make it then.

Lance said...

saadia is gonna have to drag dave and the youngin' with her and lock them in the hotel room while we "grown folks" party.

see that wasn't so hard to figga out, right saadia?

California Dove said...

I would like to make new friends. I promise I will laugh at all your jokes. June, Miami Florida? I'm not too far? whats up, Rich?