The bottom line

I've been doing a lot of posts on relationships as of late, and that is mainly because I have always been a connoisseur of love. I was the dude who was always falling for the girl I didn't have a shot at getting because she wanted the jock. (think Hitch in the rain scene with Cressida). Then I came of age and couldn't seem to keep them off me.

Well, over the years, I broke some hearts of my own, but now I try my best to help the sista's out if I can by helping them peep game. Nothing against my brothers, but I'm Pro being a man as opposed to being a player. We've all got to grow up sooner or later.

So, yesterday I'm watching the news while getting ready to work and I hear that 70% of men cheat. Wow! That's a large percentage. So that means one of two things. Either men are dogs or women aren't holding up their end thereby making it easier for a man to look elsewhere. It's definitely not the former, because the finding is that a lot of women cheat too. There is no clear consensus on the number. I guess a woman's game is tighter than a man's.

Nevertheless, here's a little info for you.

Why Men Cheat

The most frequently cited reasons for infidelity among men include

more sex (the desire for a more active sex life)

sexual variety (a desire for different kinds of sex)

opportunistic sex ( taking advantage of an opportunity to have sex
without the fear of getting caught)

to satisfy sexual curiosity (about a specific female)

a feeling of entitlement (the belief that it’s a man’s prerogative to cheat)

the “thrill of the chase”

the desire to feel important or special

sexual addiction

Why Women Cheat

The reasons most frequently cited for female infidelity include

a desire for emotional closeness and intimacy (someone caring to
confide in and bond with on an emotional level)

a desire for attention (wanting be the center of a man’s attention again)

to reaffirm her desirability (To feel validated as a woman)

to re-experience feelings of romance

a desire to feel “special”



sexual excitement

The biggest thing that I've found to be a problem is that we all get complacent and forget to do the things that caused the other person to fall in love in the first place. If you want it to work, you have to work at it, and while that's not pretty, it is the bottom line.

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Girly_Girl said...

"If you want it to work, you have to work at it, and while that's not pretty, it is the bottom line."

Isn't that the truth? Dave and I have been married for 12 years and it seems like our relationship has gone through so many cycles and changes. We constantly have to work at making each other happy. A long term relationship is not for the faint of heart--it is EXHAUSTING.

Lance said...

good blog bruh-man....communication is key! if she can keep her mouf shut when she 'pose's all good!!!!

(;-P <===the lanceman, running out of the room!!!!

hi sheletha!!!!

Lance said...

by the way, girly_girl...i was in a 13 year relationship with my EX-WIFE...dated "exclusively" (see jill scott!) for 6 years then married for 7, fore da shit hit the fan...
...then we wuz married no mo'

you got one mo' year to go g_g!!!!! hang in there boo!!!!!

(;-P <=== jus4shitz&

Girly_Girl said...

You know, 13 is supposed to be an unlucky number for a lot of people, but, guess what? I was born on the 13th!!!

Lance said...


i betta play that $1.00 straight and box tonight!!!!!

(;-P <===feelin' lucky!!!!

Sheletha said...

hi lance...I posted something but it didn't show up

California Dove said...

Good post.
Like Missy says "if it's worth it-then let me work it". It's a partnership to the end. As long as you are validated in your marriage you will remain faithful.

Unless I run into Morris Chesnut....all bets are OFF

dc_speaks said... when i posted a relationship based blog u told me i let too much out...something to the effect of being "sold" stuff brah..I enjoyed the read..oh and Cortney didnt rub off on me..I was already like just met for sharing rich

Rich in the Stl said...

Alright DC, you got me there. I had a momentary lapse, but sometimes I guess you gotta show a little love and let go some of the madness for free.

Lance said...

hey cali dove, speaking of morris chestnut...he's gonna be throughout california from feb. 14 - mar. 4 at various sites performing in david e. talbert's new play..."love in the nick of tyme".

it's a great play, i enjoyed it.

as far as morris, eh...he's aiiight.
(just kiddin' ladies, don't need y'all to be hangin' me over a shark tank in south beach!!!!)

rich said...

Hey Lance, Cali Dove lives in Florida now. The closest he's coming to her is May 22 - 26th in Atlanta (so far), but I hear he signs autographs after the show, so she could at least get close to him and possibly take a pic with him.

California Dove said...

I need Morris for more than a picture; and I have the perfect place for an autograph!!
(did i just say that? LOL)