No Future In Frontin'

Each week I roll through blogs and see men and women telling of their hardships in love. About how they can't find anyone to love them, about how good they are but no one is willing to take them up on their love journey. Well, I'd just like to say. Stop lying, cause ain't no future in frontin'.

I have come to the conclusion that there is a reason why you aren't in the relationship you want and that reason is YOU. Everyone tries to put on this face like they are something they aren't. They present the image that attracts but they don't have the substance to maintain it and then they are mad when things don't go their way. It doesn't go your way because you were frontin. Pretending, even if for a moment, to be something you aren't.

Back in the day when I was a true player in the game, I didn't front. I was straight up with mine. And guess what. Sometimes I got what I wanted and other times I didn't, but I always was upfront about what I wanted. I didn't front. If I wanted to just "have a little fun", I said so. If I was digging the chick more than that, I said so. The only time it got sticky was when either I or the other person got more than we bargained for. But the rule to remember in that case is to never try to change the rules in the middle of the game.

Anyway, I decided I'd help some of y'all out because y'all have me rolling when I read some of your stuff. There is no need for the innuendo, just keep it real. While you are working on doing that here are some things to remember.

1. You reap what you sow. If you've been playing everyone you meet, don't think that just because you finally got a clue that you automatically get to have the love of your life.

2. Just because you are "blessed and highly favored" in the genitalia department, doesn't mean people are going to be knocking your door down, so stop advertising. At best you will end up with someone who wants a good ride out of you and then they'll dip when someone with more substance comes along.

3. How you come in is how you stay in. Think - "You can't turn a ho into a housewife." - this works for both genders.

4. You want substance...then bring substance.

5. Everybody has a past. Don't trip off theirs and they won't have a reason to trip off yours.

6. Just because you say you love them during week one doesn't mean it has to be reciprocated. Who falls that easily anyway. Some of you need to look up the word infatuation. It will save you some heartache

7. Enough with the "honey" and "baby" right off the top, that doesn't make the exchange more real.

8. Slow your roll. Try getting to know the other person with your clothes on. It's way too easy to get sexually excited, so stop putting so much weight in that department.

9. Just because they "look" good, doesn't make them good for you.

10. Be the person you are looking for. Don't expect to find the perfect mate when you are tore up from the floor up.

11. You really aren't all that. Everything doesn't have to be all about you.

12. If you are a freak, do yourself a favor and find someone who is down for your freaky self. No need in you settling for Mr. or Ms. Uptight because they fit some image you are looking to fulfill. You are just setting yourself up to be miserable down the road. --- You can find this out through conversation that doesn't lead to sex.

13. Being selfish works against the whole premise of wanting to be in a relationship. The mere fact of it being a relationship requires that you give of yourself too.

14. No goals, No Go - no one is interested in going "nowhere" with you.

15. If sex is all you have to offer, you deserve to be by yourself. It's easy to get off without having to take on extra baggage.

16. Just because you think you two make a good couple doesn't mean the other person has to agree. If you have to convince them, it's destined to fail.

17. If you want to be lazy and not put your best foot forward, they have a right not to be interested. It shouldn't be a chore to look good for a potential or existing mate.

18. Stop lying to yourself when all signs say this person is no good for you. Being single isn't as bad as you make it out to be. Don't believe me, as someone who's married.

19. Confidence is attractive.

20. Desperation is a turn off.

I could go on, but I'm sure you all would like to chime in and add to this list. The biggest thing to remember is that the law of attraction is always in effect. You attract what you put forth, so if you aren't getting anything, chances are what you are putting forth is empty and full of self.