Free Your Mind Friday

Friday's are all about freeing yourself of whatever is hindering your spiritual growth. I'm setting the table and my partner, Kim Possible is serving up the meal. So, without further ado, we present to you:

Keep Running – In and out of his life.

RICH said:

Barring my youthful rebellion of anything “un-cool”, I would say the biggest factor in people avoiding, opposing or otherwise denouncing God is that all too often we make decisions about how we are going to serve God based on how others have misrepresented His character and goodness. So my view on the subject is: “Don’t let what other people do affect your relationship with God.”


In and Out of His Life Take One: I can honestly say that I have been on “the run” in my relationship with God before. I grew up in a single parent home. I watched my mother struggle to raise two children by working three jobs at a time. I had to grow up fast. My mother loved us and wanted the absolute best for my brother and me. However, because she worked all the time, we basically had to raise ourselves. She had a “Things to Do” list on the table for us everyday along with a schedule of what we should be doing the moment we woke up until it was time for us to go to bed.

My mother found God when I was in elementary school and she exposed me to prayer because I would walk in on her conversations with God all of the time. She also made sure my brother and I were in church every Sunday. It became a tug-of-war between my grandparents since one went to a Baptist church and the other went to a Methodist. Go figure? So, we had to swap churches each Sunday. Well, this went on for quite some time. Every Sunday after church my grandfather would take my cousins and me for ice cream after we ate dinner. I noticed that every Sunday on the way back to grandma’s house from the ice cream store that we would ride past a motel. I would always see my grandfather’s Pastor get out of the car with another woman as he was walking into the motel. I would look in the rear view mirror at my grandfather from the back seat and my eyes would then follow his Pastor inside the motel. It was almost as if my grandfather would pass that motel every Sunday just to let his Pastor know he saw him. One Sunday, I couldn’t take it anymore. When we got back to grandmother’s house, I asked my grandfather in front of everyone “Grandpa, why is Pastor _________ always going in the motel with another lady and not Mrs. _____________?” The room became silent and my grandfather’s face was frozen. My grandmother blurted out “Go ahead and tell her. Tell her that your Pastor is sleeping with another woman. And while you are at it, tell her that those deacons steal money from the church every Sunday.” So, he sat me down and began to tell me that sometimes people don’t practice what they preach etc. When I got back home to my mother’s house I told her that I no longer wanted to go back to church because Pastor ______________ was a hypocrite and I didn’t like that. She said I didn’t have an option not to go to church.

In and Out of His Life Take Two: So, I did go back to church, I just went to my grandmother’s church. However, that experience put a bad taste in my mouth for church and God. But, I was always spiritually aware even as a little girl. So, my mother started going to a non-denominational church and the Youth Ministry was a little more modern and that was a catch for me. I went to Youth Church and was happy to see that the youth dressed like normal people. I was 16 at the time and I was beginning to “smell” myself. I developed an anger and a hatred for my father and his absence in my life. I blamed my mother for my not having a normal childhood. For some reason I held her responsible for being the odd one out. All of my friends had both parents and I didn’t like the fact that my dad was lame. I began to have sex, go to parties, listen to music (I LOVED MUSIC), and I would have my fair share of wine coolers. My mother would always tell me that I couldn’t serve two gods. Of course, I was like whatever and I told her that my generation was different from her generation.

The Pastors daughter came to my house to spend the weekend and would you believe that “trick” told me that I was not living right because I was listening to secular music. I brushed her off and was like whatever “church girl!” I left her in my room while I was on the phone with my boyfriend and when I came back in my room that chick had taken ALL of my poster’s down. She ripped my Michael Jackson poster down, you know the one where Mike had on a yellow vest and some white pants?

She tore down my Thriller poster,
my MC Lyte,

Doug E. Fresh,

and Public Enemy posters
and she took ALL of my tapes and broke them. I cursed that girl out and kicked her out of my house. I told her I needed her and her holier than thou attitude to hit the road. I was pissed at her and my mother was pissed at me. Whatever!

At this point in my life I hated going to church. Because even though the Youth Ministry kids seemed cool, they were very judgmental and did not come off the side of the tracks I came off. They were exposed to a whole lot more in life than I was. They went to great schools and lived in great neighborhoods. I lived in a good neighborhood too, but if you walked out of my house a couple of blocks down it wasn’t too far from “the hood!” I thought the kids in the youth ministry were straight crazy. They didn’t listen to music, they hadn’t had sex, they hadn’t had any drinks, they made me feel like I was the prodigal daughter with all their “You are going to hell, if you don’t do this or if you don’t do that!” So, they turned me off from God. I became very rebellious and I wanted to start doing things my way. Bump God, bump church, bump those lame, phony kids in youth ministry. So, I just went all out. I experienced a little more than I bargained for. The gentlemen I was dating for almost 3 years pulled a gun on me because I wanted to break up with him. In that moment I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. I knew that I could die because my boyfriend was probably one of the biggest drug dealers in my city at the time. I knew what he was capable of and in that moment I thought I would be part of a statistic. Long story short, God got me out of that situation alive and I became tired of living that way. I would go to parties and feel empty. I would hang out with my friends and drink and not be fulfilled. I would have sex and still be lonely.

I could remember going out to parties and coming back home and I would hear my mother praying for me. Her prayers would sound something like this “God, where ever she is, make her sick to her stomach. Do what ever you have to do to get her attention.” I was like OMG, how could she pray something like that. But, I went in my room and cried my eyes out. I knew that God was expecting more out of me in terms of my devotion to Him. I knew that I couldn’t just live anyway I wanted to. To whom much is given much is required. I prayed and told God “If you are who I just heard my mother praying to, make yourself real to me. I want to know you for myself.” As time progressed He made himself so real to me and I started cultivating a relationship with Him.

As I have matured over the years. I realize that we ALL fall in and out of his life. But he is the one consistent thing in our lives. He is such a gentlemen and he will never force himself on us. In my case I believe he allowed me to almost lose my life to get my attention. I was a hard nut to crack because I did not like phony Christians and I wanted my relationship to be genuine. Either I was going to go all the way in my relationship with him or I wasn’t going to have one with him at all. That was how I saw it. I think that we all have different seasons in our lives. At times we are more in tune with God and what He wants out of us and at other times we push him away and kind of do our own thing. What are the circumstances in your life that keep you going in and out of his life? Are you MIA in your relationship with God? That’s how I see it, how do you see it?


The Master (De)bater said...

Number Two speaks to my teen years' experience. Wow... I'm speechless. Thank you for sharing-- and taking me down my own "Memory Lane."

KimPossible said...


Mizrepresent said...

I know i don't go to church like i'm supposed to...but i pray everyday, all during the day, whenever i got something to say to God, i do it. I can't believe my connection to him, it's like we are old friends, my father, the only one who listens...i sometimes think he grows tired of me...but just like an annoying family member who doesn't always do right, can be found doing wrong...he always listens and takes me back, cradles me in his arms...and are gonna be alright...and you know what...i listen.

SeXyY_LuVv said...

I know that I am MIA in my relationship with my heavenly father. I was attending a church something like your grandfathers church just a little more out there, members of my church made the 9pm news and the Star Tribune Newspaper! I was so turned off that I turned away and never looked back, this was my first time in my adult life finding Jesus, and after that experience I never went back, I tried one of close friend churches but it was not what I was looking for, as I put it off, the desire grew farther away from my heart. I started making excuses as to why I didn't attend church and my excuse was valid, I told people what I experienced and they understood, I realized sometime later that I was going for all the wrong reasons, I was there for the people and not for Christ. I am still MIA in my relationship, I can do all the praying at home, but I still desire that feeling that I felt when I stepped foot in the house of the lord.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

u aint living right u secularisdt LOL that ish is hill -Larry OUS. and in your house LOL anywho happy nappy holiday

KIKI said...

I catch alot of flack because i don't attend church on a regular basis. But I feel I don't necessarily need to go to a building to have a relationship with God. I pray to Him daily...and not just when I need something but to thank Him just because. I am a firm believer in treat others as you would want to be treated, and I feel as long as i live by that, He knows my heart (I know...cliche) and I'll be alright.

Wishing you & yours a Happy Holiday!

MsJayy said...

Just passing through to wish you & yours a Happy Holiday season! Be well!

Sheletha said...

My problem is that since Ive been in NC I have not connected with a church that I can call home. I am so spoiled when it comes to being a member of Mt Zion in Kalamazoo. I have love for my pastor and the church family. Its a closeness where I know that the members there have my best interests in heart. That is irreplacable.

In NC I attend church randomly, if I don't go I dont sweat it. In order to have some type of connected-ness I sit in front of my computer and watch streaming faith to a church back in Michigan or I pop in one of the DVD's that is sent to me from my home church. I even send my tithes by mail.

Im not blind to the fact that there are prolly some good bible teaching churches here in da 'boro. I find it hard to get that soul connection like I had back in Kalamazoo. I long for it, cause I know its whats missing.

My relationship with Christ is too strong to faulter. Im anchored so I will never be MIA.

Sheletha said...

to add on...

I wont be MIA when Im promised that he will never leave or forsake me. When He loves me in spite of myself. When I know that I know He is continually showing Himself strong in my life.

Mega Rich said...

I'm with you Sheletha, I haven't found a church that really speaks to me -- the one that does...well, I'm at odds with the Pastor -- he keeps doing questionable and manipulative stuff. The problem is, nobody brings it like him. I know no one is perfect, but you have to draw the line somewhere.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi KimPossible,
You sure underwent a lot of sad experiences with so many misguided Christians. They are pseudo Christians who consider only their own self righteous ways. You should not be sidetracked by them in your relationship with God. Remember Hebrews 12:2a says, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." Humans are just humans and they are so vulnerable to many human weaknesses including puffed up spirits like self righteous and hypocritical
Christians. As you grow older and mature, you will develop a more intimate and personal relationship with God and will no longer get off tracked by the hypocritical ways of others. What matters most is to live your life to please God and do all things for His glory alone. All things else are just incidentals. Thanks for the wonderful post. God bless and have a wonderful and pleasant day always.

jjbrock said...

I stumble upon your blog it is great. Thanks for this post it speaks to a lot of people who are searching for that one thing. We all have a God spot that only He is able to fill I think that is why we search and search for a church that hit that spot but can't find it we stop looking.

houstonmacbro said...

I think 'the Church' has hijacked God and most folks were willing participants to the game. The bible has been so misrepresented, altered, used for political and socio-economic gain, used to fight wars and hide atrocities (Rwanda and Hitler's Germany to name a few of the things the Catholic church has used it for) that it is amazing that people still flock to the people that are doing the misrepresentation.

If you are smart, you will learn to find GOD (the true GOD) in yourself and realize that GOD is always there, is an amazing power, and is like air (available to everyone regardless of race, creed, sexuality, or national origin).

Once you find the metaphysical GOD you will understand that the Chuch has used it for its own gain, enriching ministers and whole religions alike, while making most folks believe that the ONLY way to spiritual grown with GOD is through them.

Ha ... wake up people and discover your own GOD.

B_More BAP Life said...

Very powerful.

"So my view on the subject is: “Don’t let what other people do affect your relationship with God.”

I second that.