Talkin' Out the Side of Your Neck

If you are either in a relationship now or have been in the past you have no doubt encountered a situation where you and your mate didn't take each others advice. Sometimes the result of which brings about an "I told you so" or at worst not heeding the advice caused the relationship to end. Sometimes you tell your mate the same things over and over and they just think you are nagging them.

Well, today I'm going to help you out. Sometimes all we need to get our points across is for someone other than ourselves to say what we've been saying. With that in mind, I decided to ask the ladies (the gents are up next week) what would they tell men if the men would listen. I didn't give them any script, I just asked them to speak their minds. This is what they told me. What would you have said?

Video Link (online subscribers)

[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch]

About the host:
Rich Fitzgerald is the author of the short story "One to Remember" featured in Love and Redemption (Bloggers' Delight Vol. 1), a collection of short stories by authors who blog. To read excerpts or to order a copy of the title, visit i-Lit. The book is also available on Amazon.


CapCity said...

I'd tell Brothers I'm tired of being a strong, single woman who has to defend herself from U.... i need help & REAL luvin'...i'm so tired of fighting...

The Jaded NYer said...

I'd say... be truthful and keep it in your pants!

Mizrepresent said...

It's not enough to say you want a good woman...if you don't know how to treat her or keep her.

Stop the only ends up making it worse for the next man.

Falling in love is not a weakness.

Lovebabz said...

I am saying: Do no paint me with the same brush as your ex. I am not her and therefore should not pay for her shit. You can NOT work out your unfinished business with her, with me. GOSH!

Anonymous said...

I agree with the lady who said to behave.

Also, the woman who said "pay attention" is so right.

I would tell men the same thing. Just like in Thin Line Between Love and Hate, Martin overlooked the signs that homegirl was crazy. If he had paid attention, he could've saved himself from all of the drama.

As for me, I would tell me:

1. Give the woman the same respect that you would want her to give you.
2. Chivalry is not dead.
3. A little goes a long ways.
4. Don't ever be afraid to go after your dreams.
5. Just because you have one thing in common doesn't mean she is meant to be your wife.

Queen of My Castle said...

I scream it ALL THE TIME...Be honest!!!!!! LOL.

Don said...

good post, rich. i have to wait on the video but i enjoyed reading the sistas comments. especially capcity's "i'm so tired of fighting." isn't that the honest to God truth. @ some point the fighting should cease. i love that comment.

jewells is too much for me. lol.

whether the painting that's being done is good or bad, i agree @ what lovebabz wrote.

Lance said...

"you may fire when ready griswold"...

ehhhhh, i'll hold back...

you kno' me..... ;-P

Shai said...

I would say:

-The small details count. Thoughtful gestures add up compared trying to give an over the top experience.

-Listen, listen, listen. Listen to "how" I use my words not your definition of my words.

-Don't take what I do for granted.

- Stop trying to compete with me or compare me to you.

-Be gentle with what I share with you.

Shai said...

@Cap and Miz: Amen!

Stephen Bess said...

Honesty and communication seems to be the overall sentiment. Yes, they are very important and we can never stop tweaking them in our character. I'm tweaking right now.

Don said...

lol @ lance comment.

Tabu said...

I would tell them to Stop giving a woman everything they have in the beginning of the relationship then take back when you're secure.

MysTery said...

tabu I must agree!!

I would say be honest and love yourself, of course.

But for real, it is ok to be human. I understand you want to be superman, but we can't relate on a human level if you act like you have no emotions. (sorry personal testimony at the moment.)

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

a lot of thast advice is genderless. great job and great question

Sheletha said...

okay just because they will listen doesn't mean the men will take heed...but here goes it:

I am a sexual being, but sex will never be 'casual' Im not your piece of ass.

No, you cannot guess my bra size.

You betta ask my Daddy first.
This is a spiritual thing. You will need to have your own relationship with God to get close to my heart. Let it be a real realationship, let the church be in you, not just you in church.

My couch & TV isn't a date.

Your couch & TV isn't a date.

Don't you know there are people in this world that ACTUALLY love me??? Fall in line or get out of the way. Putting your hands on me in an aggressive way is only a death wish.

Black women will to give you the best kind of lovin that is possible. I expect it to be reciprocated. I will support you, learn a thing or three from you, edify you, and do everything in reason to keep you satisfied. Even in your mess, I will still love Black men. Together we can be the ultimate personification of a black family unit. We can make this happen, just love me.

Sometimes I don't need you to fix it, I just want you to hear me.

Please take out the garbage without me asking.

I agree with the women who want truth...but I wonder if I always want to hear theres a catch 22½.

Im apologize that sometimes I don't know what I want, I know that makes you frustrated so please work with me and limit my choices.

I love to hear you laugh.
I love when you hold the small part of my back.
I love when you open the door for me.
I love hearing you call my name.
I love when you smell good.
I love a fresh fade.

So if you will listen and take heed, I got some ..ish to say.

James Tubman said...

very nice my brother

i don't think women really want to hear the truth in most cases

i don't know if the average black woman can handle what's going on in the average black man's mind

they say they want the truth but when i told the truth in many cases she couldn't handle it

and why would you tell the truth knowing that someone is going to hold it against you

for some reason that doesn't sense to me

thanx again my brother

Don said...

okay finally watched the video.

brittany p: she sounds like she has been hurt by a man before. i agree @ her saying keep things real and honest. no matter what.

@ rich, great question on asking her if she's always felt that way.

"the woman is always right" - she does have a point.

@ the light-skinned female who said: "stop lying," and many others - yep. i can relate to what that particular female was saying.

i think the female who ask that men and woman be friends, and not make children choose...she said a mouthful.

the video blogging is a very innovative aspect that you've presented. cover wayy more ground, and up close and personal interaction.

and last but not least the woman who said put God first...simple as that but highly impossible. @ least for me it is. for a woman too, actually. lol.

Don said...

@ a good woman: a woman is only a good woman when she is already in a relationship. let that be said. forst and foremost. i don't want a good woman i only want a true woman.

Verbal Vixen (T Caldwell) said...

I enjoyed this, Rich.

I would tell men three things:
1 - Don't be a hypocrite. Do unto others as you will have others do unto you.
2 - Before you do wrong, remember this: It WILL come back on you, and it CAN ruin your relationship. Please be certain that it is worth the risk before you take the risk.
3 - Do not lie.

James - Personally, I think the women who have trouble hearing the truth are the ones who aren't used to hearing it. And men are afraid of the consequences of telling the truth - therefore, they too are afraid of the truth. If we shared the truth more often, both sides would be better able to handle it.

And dammit, STOP doing shyt that you are scared to speak the truth about in the first place.

MysTery said...

"Pick a side" LMBO!!!!