Vanity Plates

Here’s one of my little quirks. I like to read vanity license plates. I love figuring them out when they are coded and at times the wording will evoke my desire to take a closer look because of what they have spelled out on the plate. Such was the case this week when I happened to pull up behind a car in traffic that had “MS IT” on the plate.

If I leave five minutes later than normal traffic has the tendency to be bumper to bumper for quite a while. Well, this particular morning I didn’t get out until thirty minutes later than my usual time cause mommy and I had breakfast in bed, if you know what I mean. Anyway, as I’m heading into the flow of traffic where I-55 merges into I-70 headed west, I see this burgundy Mazda 626 in front of me and being the license plate reader that I am, I notice the tag. I’m doubtful that the driver looks the part of “MS IT” because I don’t know how many times I’ve ridden up on someone with “Q T PIE”, “SEX C 1”, “MMM GUD” or something along those lines only to be utterly disappointed at my findings. Nevertheless, I’m the curious sort, so I try and find my way along side of “MS IT”, only to be blocked by my non-driving fellow commuters. Finally, some ten minutes later I’m able to get over in the open lane where I-70 crosses Union. The road always opens up there because it is the end of the “Express Lane” – Is it me or does it always seem like those things are headed in the wrong direction? Anywho, I speed up and hit the lane before “MS IT” has the chance and I catch a glance. Not bad I think, but I didn’t get a good enough look and I’m still not really convinced that she is all that, at least enough of 'that' to be advertising on her tag. So, I slow my roll a bit and allow her to catch up and I look again. Just ok, I think, but she isn’t an ugly chick, so I won't put her in the category with all the other folks. I guess she was speaking more of her attitude than looks, but who am I to judge her. Besides, she gave me something to do since I missed the reading of “The Strawberry Letter” this morning on the Steve Harvey Morning Show – which is another topic altogether, because I miss my local morning show.

Meanwhile, back on the ranch, all this license plate reading got me to thinking. If I had to have a vanity plate, what would I put on it? Missouri only allows six letters, but I can come up with a few. What about you, what would you put on your plate? Here are some of mine.

P2P LLC (Poorhouse 2 Powerhouse – my educational company that I plan to debut soon).

R SANDR
SANDER (My former writing pseudonym was R. Sander Fitzgerald– I decided to drop the name “Sander”)

GD READ (Good Read)

FLY GUY (I wouldn’t dare – just tossing ideas around)

BIZ MAN (See Mizrepresent and CapCity for the meaning to that one)

GR8FL (I think that one is taken)

RNAZNS (as in Renaissance Man)

I have others, but I’d rather see yours.

One last tidbit -- I like reading car tags so much, I came up with a game called TAGZ years ago that I tried selling to the toy companies. Unfortunately, most board games are just classics now. Everyone wants something electronic. I, on the other hand, just want to have a little fun. So, come on, amuse me with your vanity plates.

No Future In Frontin'

Each week I roll through blogs and see men and women telling of their hardships in love. About how they can't find anyone to love them, about how good they are but no one is willing to take them up on their love journey. Well, I'd just like to say. Stop lying, cause ain't no future in frontin'.

I have come to the conclusion that there is a reason why you aren't in the relationship you want and that reason is YOU. Everyone tries to put on this face like they are something they aren't. They present the image that attracts but they don't have the substance to maintain it and then they are mad when things don't go their way. It doesn't go your way because you were frontin. Pretending, even if for a moment, to be something you aren't.

Back in the day when I was a true player in the game, I didn't front. I was straight up with mine. And guess what. Sometimes I got what I wanted and other times I didn't, but I always was upfront about what I wanted. I didn't front. If I wanted to just "have a little fun", I said so. If I was digging the chick more than that, I said so. The only time it got sticky was when either I or the other person got more than we bargained for. But the rule to remember in that case is to never try to change the rules in the middle of the game.

Anyway, I decided I'd help some of y'all out because y'all have me rolling when I read some of your stuff. There is no need for the innuendo, just keep it real. While you are working on doing that here are some things to remember.

1. You reap what you sow. If you've been playing everyone you meet, don't think that just because you finally got a clue that you automatically get to have the love of your life.

2. Just because you are "blessed and highly favored" in the genitalia department, doesn't mean people are going to be knocking your door down, so stop advertising. At best you will end up with someone who wants a good ride out of you and then they'll dip when someone with more substance comes along.

3. How you come in is how you stay in. Think - "You can't turn a ho into a housewife." - this works for both genders.

4. You want substance...then bring substance.

5. Everybody has a past. Don't trip off theirs and they won't have a reason to trip off yours.

6. Just because you say you love them during week one doesn't mean it has to be reciprocated. Who falls that easily anyway. Some of you need to look up the word infatuation. It will save you some heartache

7. Enough with the "honey" and "baby" right off the top, that doesn't make the exchange more real.

8. Slow your roll. Try getting to know the other person with your clothes on. It's way too easy to get sexually excited, so stop putting so much weight in that department.

9. Just because they "look" good, doesn't make them good for you.

10. Be the person you are looking for. Don't expect to find the perfect mate when you are tore up from the floor up.

11. You really aren't all that. Everything doesn't have to be all about you.

12. If you are a freak, do yourself a favor and find someone who is down for your freaky self. No need in you settling for Mr. or Ms. Uptight because they fit some image you are looking to fulfill. You are just setting yourself up to be miserable down the road. --- You can find this out through conversation that doesn't lead to sex.

13. Being selfish works against the whole premise of wanting to be in a relationship. The mere fact of it being a relationship requires that you give of yourself too.

14. No goals, No Go - no one is interested in going "nowhere" with you.

15. If sex is all you have to offer, you deserve to be by yourself. It's easy to get off without having to take on extra baggage.

16. Just because you think you two make a good couple doesn't mean the other person has to agree. If you have to convince them, it's destined to fail.

17. If you want to be lazy and not put your best foot forward, they have a right not to be interested. It shouldn't be a chore to look good for a potential or existing mate.

18. Stop lying to yourself when all signs say this person is no good for you. Being single isn't as bad as you make it out to be. Don't believe me, as someone who's married.

19. Confidence is attractive.

20. Desperation is a turn off.

I could go on, but I'm sure you all would like to chime in and add to this list. The biggest thing to remember is that the law of attraction is always in effect. You attract what you put forth, so if you aren't getting anything, chances are what you are putting forth is empty and full of self.

Thanksgiving in the ATL

Hey Yo!

I'll be in the ATL from Wednesday night to Sunday morning. I'd like to holla at some of you ATL folks (Miz, Torrance, Nikki, Lit. Felonies, Jali, anybody I forgot). Where can we all meet up? Pick a place. I meant to do this last week, but the week got long. Friday evening/night is best for me. Holla at your boy.