Double minded?

Today I'm going to attempt to stir up the pot once more by challenging your thinking on an issue that I have thought about on some level.

Suffice it to say that most people whether single or married have pretty healthy sex lives. If you are getting some, then that counts, for the sake of this post. I can also assume that the majority of those that COMMENT are of the Christian faith, just based on the previous discussions we've had.

I know you feel the hook coming. Here goes.

Why do most people feel that it is acceptable to have sex when they are single, yet that same person can be opposed to adultery? Biblically speaking sin is sin. One is no better/worse than the other. Yet, lax attitudes prevail regarding pre-marital sex (fornication in the bible) and stringent attitudes reign about sex after marriage (adultery). Why is that? It couldn't be about the wedding vows, because there is an implied vow that you are going to live holy when you decide to become Christians. If that was not the case, people wouldn't approach getting saved with that familiar response of "I'm not ready yet", meaning I'm not ready to stop doing my thing.

I know I'm coming at you from a few angles, but I just figured we needed something controversial to discuss today.

Whatever thoughts you'd like to share on the subject are fine by me, but don't tell me you don't have an opinion, because I know better.

One mistake

We should call this blog "The Love House" because I'm having fun talking about relationships and what not.

I ran across someone trying to sell an e-book on this topic and wondered what you all thought it was.

What one mistake is almost guaranteed to end your new relationship before it even starts?

Let's chop it up and see what comes of it.

Website: What it takes

Friday Inspirations

Don't think away your feelings

“When emotions are managed by the heart, they heighten your awareness of the world around you and add sparkle to life. The result is new intelligence and a new view of life.”

-- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

How do you intellectualize your emotions?

Many of us live so much in our heads that we intellectualize our emotions. We analyze, rationalize and explain them away so quickly that we don’t actually experience them.

Learn to honour your emotions at all times by being willing to feel them. Of course, you may need to exercise some judgment over how and when you express them.

"Learning to be aware of feelings, how they arise and how to use them creatively so they guide us to happiness, is an essential lifetime skill."

-- Joan Borysenko

Soul Mates

I’ve heard the words “Soul Mate” at least twice weekly for about the last month or so. It’s almost as if people are just throwing it around like its commonplace. However, it got me to thinking about just how many people end up with theirs.

In my lifetime I've had the occasion for more than one female to swear I was their dude. Not to mention I have felt at one time or another like someone that I was dating at the time was it, but then for some reason or another we broke up. So then you question, were they really my soul mate? Hmm, I don't know. This love thing is tricky. Too much TV gets in the way of relationships if you ask me, but that's another post. For now I just want to know if you believe in soul mates, what does the term mean to you, and are you with yours?

What's Shakin 1

At times I wake up and a song is rattling around in my head and I will sing/hum that song for hours. Sometimes the songs take me back to better days. That was the case when this song popped into my head. I was in middle school when this came out. In the 9th Grade, I think.

(check out the video at the end)

Sing it with me.

That Girl (Stevie Wonder)

That girl thinks that she’s so fine
That soon she’ll have my mind
That girl thinks that she’s so smart
That soon she’ll have my heart
She thinks in no time flat
That she’ll be free and clear to start
With her emotional rescue of love that you’ll leave turn apart

That girl thinks that she’s so bad
She’ll change my tears from joy to sad
She says she keeps the upper hand
’cause she can please her man
She doesn’t use her love to make him weak
She uses love to keep him strong
And inside me there’s no room for doubt
That it won’t be too long

Before I tell her that I love her
That I want her
That my mind, soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to
To be in her love

I’ve been hurting for a long time
And you’ve been playing for a long time
You know it’s true
I’ve been holding for a long time
And you’ve been running for a long time
It’s time to do what we have to do
That girl, that girl

That girl knows every single man
Would ask her for her hand
But she says her love is much too deep
For them to understand
She says her love has been crying out
But her lover hasn’t heard
But what she doesn’t realize is that I’ve listened to every word

That’s why I know I’ll tell that I love her
That I want her
That my mind, soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to
To be in her love

Tell her I love her
That I want her
That my mind and soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to
To be in her love

That I love her
That I want her
That my mind and soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to...

Tell her that I love her
That I want her
That my mind and soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to
To be in her...

That girl, that girl, that girl,
Oh, that girl, that girl, that girl, that girl...

When I went looking for the song, I found this bumpin' Soul Train line clip with the song "Do I Do", check it out.

[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch]

Happy Birthday C-Mac

My man C-MAC turned the BIG 4-0 today and I know he is in major reflect mode because of it. I've already started my reflection because I hit that mark at the end of the year. Anyway, I wanted to wish my man happy birthday and have a little fun at the same time, so I hooked him up with a South Park Image.

Y'all know how we do.

This is C-Mac coaching our former basketball squad when the ref gave us a bogus call.

Happy Birthday Bruh!

Previously on the Rich House: Meet C-Mac

Make your own South Park Figure

Image save instructions: Once you have completed your image, do a CTRL-Prt Screen. It will appear as if nothing happened, but open up the PAINT application (look in accessories) that comes with your pc and then do a Ctrl-V. The image should appear there. Save the image in a JPEG format, then open whatever picture management software you have and crop the image to get rid of all the stuff you don't need. Do a new SAVE AS and you are done. You can now use the image for a post.

Holiday Greetings

Everybody needs a day off everyone once in a while.

HAPPY PRESIDENTS DAY

Now if I were only somewhere warm and tropical, I could be under those palms.

The Blackness Scale

My daughter sent this to me. It's funny, but there is a measure of truth to it as well, but sometimes that is what comdedy does; poke fun at the truth.

[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch]

What it is

A kiss is sensual
A kiss is sweet
A kiss is damn near erotic

A kiss separates a friend from a lover
A kiss says you are special
A kiss is inviting

French kiss
Kiss and tell
Kiss me my love

It’s passionate
It’s endearing
It’s soft
It’s wet
It’s intoxicating

It gets you in the door
It sets the stage
It gets the panties wet
It gets you hard all over

It’s small
Yet powerful
It can be the beginning
Or the end
It’s a kiss

Plain and simple

Happy Valentines Day

I really like this song from Outkast. It's not the original video but it works.
(Unfortunately since Viacom started squawking, all the original videos are getting pulled)

[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch]

My kind of woman

Call me the Grinch of Holiday's, but I hate commercialism. Even when it comes to Valentines Day. I just hate it when someone else tells me it's time for me to prove my love. Don't get me wrong, I like romance. However, like most men, I like to call the shots.

Men shouldn't have to feel like they have to jump through hoops just because it's Valentines Day AND we shouldn't have hell to pay from our women just because we take that stance.

Don't punk out, I know I'm not the only one.

Card makers capitalize on 'anti-V Day'

Friday Funny

Here's one of my homeboys from Jacksonville, FL, Roland Powell. This dude is really funny.

[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch]

The bottom line

I've been doing a lot of posts on relationships as of late, and that is mainly because I have always been a connoisseur of love. I was the dude who was always falling for the girl I didn't have a shot at getting because she wanted the jock. (think Hitch in the rain scene with Cressida). Then I came of age and couldn't seem to keep them off me.

Well, over the years, I broke some hearts of my own, but now I try my best to help the sista's out if I can by helping them peep game. Nothing against my brothers, but I'm Pro being a man as opposed to being a player. We've all got to grow up sooner or later.

So, yesterday I'm watching the news while getting ready to work and I hear that 70% of men cheat. Wow! That's a large percentage. So that means one of two things. Either men are dogs or women aren't holding up their end thereby making it easier for a man to look elsewhere. It's definitely not the former, because the finding is that a lot of women cheat too. There is no clear consensus on the number. I guess a woman's game is tighter than a man's.

Nevertheless, here's a little info for you.


Why Men Cheat

The most frequently cited reasons for infidelity among men include

more sex (the desire for a more active sex life)

sexual variety (a desire for different kinds of sex)

opportunistic sex ( taking advantage of an opportunity to have sex
without the fear of getting caught)

to satisfy sexual curiosity (about a specific female)

a feeling of entitlement (the belief that it’s a man’s prerogative to cheat)

the “thrill of the chase”

the desire to feel important or special

sexual addiction


Why Women Cheat

The reasons most frequently cited for female infidelity include

a desire for emotional closeness and intimacy (someone caring to
confide in and bond with on an emotional level)

a desire for attention (wanting be the center of a man’s attention again)

to reaffirm her desirability (To feel validated as a woman)

to re-experience feelings of romance

a desire to feel “special”

boredom

loneliness

sexual excitement

The biggest thing that I've found to be a problem is that we all get complacent and forget to do the things that caused the other person to fall in love in the first place. If you want it to work, you have to work at it, and while that's not pretty, it is the bottom line.

How's that working for you?

As the economy continues to evolve I'm finding more and more that a college degree just ain't (that's right I said ain't) what it used to be.

Once upon a time having a college degree meant you would be among the top earners, but not anymore.

During the past five years, even incomes for the college educated have stagnated. Many economists, including Mark Zandi of Moody's Economy.com, now say that college is not enough.

I know this has been true for me. Since about 2001 my corporate salary has only moved a few percentage points (annual increases), to only be eaten up by higher prices. I'm what you might call a preverbial runaway slave because I'm always looking for a way to leave the corporate plantation. Anyway, how has college worked for you? Has your degree provided the opportunities that you thought it would?

By the way, check this out:

Here's one cautionary note about the ability of individual Americans to change their economic circumstances. Despite the fervent belief among Americans that we all have a chance to make it to the top, recent studies suggest the United States is actually among the least economically mobile of the big industrialized countries.

This doesn't mean you can't make it. It just means that "the system" has gone to great lengths to keep you in the rat race. Just remember, the more pressure you face, the more creative energy you are given. You will make it if you don't lose faith.

Ask The Rich House

Dear Rich House Reader,

I am 39 and have two daughters, ages 21 and 8, and I plan to marry my eldest daughter's father in the coming months. My problem is that my daughter met her father for the first time in 2003, and while he and I have worked through a lot of very difficult and painful issues concerning his 20-year absence in our lives, he and our daughter are still struggling to talk to each other. How do I plan my life with him without being put in a place where she feels as if I'm choosing him over her? Please offer some useful tools to help me navigate my way through this sensitive situation with my daughter and her father.

What advice do you have OR what would you do in their shoes?

Standard comments are also welcome.

Friday Funny

A coworker forwarded this to me on Tuesday and I really enjoyed it, so I saved it for you all today. So, please give a warm Rich House welcome to
Anjelah Johnson
(She reminds me little of Girly Girl)


[click "play" (the arrow button) to watch]